What’s LOVE Got to Do With It

Fine and Dandy

What’s LOVE Got to Do With It

Putting your thoughts on paper is therapeutic when faced with difficult and trying times, so I ask that you bear with me as I express my joy and sorrow. I trust that after you read this your outlook on life as well as your purpose for living will be changed for the better.

I have spent the last 2 weeks in a family waiting room at the University of Virginia Medical Center, waiting and watching as 3 of the people I love the most are suffering. I am blessed with having lived my life under the umbrella of a very close knit family, and now I have to help hold this umbrella up. My grandparents have had more influence on my life than any other persons on this planet, and are loved by more people than I can count. Their daily walk with Christ has allowed them to touch the lives of so many people in their 80+ years on earth, and now that love is being reciprocated by so many people. This has become personal for me these last 2 weeks as I watch a steady stream of visitors come in and out of the waiting room, as well as answering the waiting room phone and providing constant updates of the condition of my personal hero and role model.

Please allow me to introduce you to someone near to my heart who exemplifies the spirit of   giving and has given freely of his time while facing physical adversity.

My uncle, Kevin Ferrier, was born in 1958 with a handicap, as he was born with his umbilical cord around his neck. The lack of oxygen to his brain may have affected his motor skills, but it has not impaired his ability to touch the heart and lives of EVERY individual he meets. When asked how he is doing, he almost always replies “Fine and Dandy”(except when snowed in and unable to help at the Moose or volunteer at the bowling alley), and his spirits are lifted through the giving of his time to others. His work is confirmed through his recognitions and volunteer work throughout the community of Waynesboro.

Kevin graduated in 1978 with the 1st special education class at Waynesboro High School, and began a life of serving others that has continued to today. He has volunteered with the YMCA youth basketball league and was chosen volunteer of the month for his work. He was recognized on several occasions for his volunteer work with the Special Olympics. He ran the scoreboard for the Waynesboro Generals for many years, and still pulls for the “home team”. He kept score for so many little league, farm league, and church softball teams that we have lost count. He is loved and known at the Waynesboro Va bowling alley for his tireless efforts and assistance in their league play. Ask anyone who visits the Waynesboro Moose and they will tell you tales of his work in assisting their fundraising efforts and civic work. Visit the Blue Ridge Church of Christ on Sunday mornings and you will be greeted by Kevin, handed a program, and receive help finding a seat for the worship service. He currently volunteers 4 mornings a week at the Waynesboro library, and is a constant at the Waynesboro Moose Lodge where he serves on the board and has been Legionnaire of the Month on 2 occasions.

When I decided to write about Kevin I had knowledge of his service through my childhood memories of his involvement with little league baseball and church softball teams, but I never stopped to consider how many lives he has touched through his smile and service. There are those people on this earth that have been blessed with the ability to spread this magic through their loving interaction with others. It is this action that makes this world a great place to live, and I am blessed to have witnessed this magic in action through the life of this special person.

Now as we sit in the waiting room awaiting a miracle, my grandparents are faced with the most difficult decision any should ever have to make. To live or not to live, that is the question. You see Kevin has had a recent history of seizures, but the one he suffered 2 weeks ago left him laying in the floor overnight, and the lack of brain activity resulted in a stroke, his liver and kidneys shutting down, a stress related heart attack, fluid on his lungs, swelling and hemorrhaging of his brain and the loss of his right side.

Anyone who knows Kevin (and there are MANY) knows that Kevin never sits still. Even if he is watching his favorite baseball team (NY Yankees) on TV he still flips channels to watch 3+ shows at the same time. If he is listening to his favorite gospel cd, you will hear his feet stomping the floor keeping time to the music. Never stopping, never resting, until now.

Now he lays motionless in a hospital bed, and except for 1 day in which he was awake and alert he has not moved. While the doctors and staff are wonderful, they have no definitive answers, solutions, or long term prognosis. I tell you all of this to get to this.

My countless hours in this waiting room have taught me the most valuable lesson of my life. It doesn’t matter WHO you are, rather what matters the most is HOW you treat others. It matters how you first interact with those you meet, how you continue to treat them, what you do for them, and the WHY must be a core belief that OTHERS matter more to you than you matter to yourself.

Kevin exemplifies Christ in EVERY aspect of his life, every day of his life. This is evidenced in the constant visitation, phone calls from concerned people that we have never met, and the full mailbox everyday when I take my grandparents home. There are so many cards and letters just waiting for Kevin to read, that if one did not know better they would think he was a Hollywood movie star.

Now, I have resolved to live my life in such a fashion that everyone I meet walks away feeling better about themselves, and that they know that God is real and loves them. You see we live in such a politically correct nation that it is difficult or intimidating to express how we truly feel. That is something Kevin never had to worry about, he was always “Fine & Dandy”. I now understand that if you are what you believe that you will never need to tell people how you feel, they will know by your smile, hugs, & hand shake. That example will peak the interest of people you meet and they will WANT what you have. JOY. Do not confuse joy with happiness, as happiness is based in feelings, joy is based in your knowing that God is in control and no matter what happens, he cares for you.

We often become discouraged because things do not go our way. Maybe you did not get the job/ promotion you wanted, your favorite team does not win, your car breaks down…, but if you have JOY none of these superficial and material things matter. If you live your life for the betterment of your fellowman, you will always be like Kevin, “Fine & Dandy”.

So I challenge you to take a good look at yourself in the mirror, & contrary to popular opinion tell yourself that YOU do not matter, rather WHAT you do with your time is most important. Call that long lost friend & see how they are doing, hug a friend or family member for no reason other than you love them, tell your spouse you love them OFTEN, visit a sick or widowed person, take a neighbor to dinner & get to know them, and if you have children; hug them tightly, love them unconditionally, cherish every moment they breathe for tomorrow may never come

God Bless you all.

The Trying of your FAITH worketh PATIENCE

Sometimes when it RAINS it POURS

The Trying of your FAITH worketh PATIENCE James 1:3. I have read that verse so many times over the last 5 years of my life, and its meaning becomes clearer to me after each trial that I am blessed to endure. Often times we endure hardships in life and after we weather the storm we seldom stop to look back from where we  came. I learned that it is important to take a look back at your journey so that the next time you are faced with a trial you can TRUST that God will be by your side.

You see there is a great difference between FAITH and TRUST. You cannot truly see FAITH, rather you see the evidence of it. Faith is the SUBSTANCE of things HOPED for, as described in Heb 11:1. Trust is visible though, and can be seen. For example, when you get on an airplane you trust that Pilot. When you tell your child to go down the slide, they TRUST you because you are standing there at the bottom.

The trials with which you face are there for a reason, and even though they are tough one should not discount them as a useless part of life. Without them we could not grow. Without heat steel could not be shaped, iron could not be hardened gold could not be purified, water could not boil (gotta have my coffee), and food could not be cooked. Well that HEAT is necessary in our life as well. Trials are God’s way of making us uncomfortable so that we listen to Him, trust in Him, and become confident that He truly cares about us and our problems.

Whether or not you are a Christian you have endured hardships in your life. The death of a loved one or friend, a divorce, the loss of a job or maybe you have struggled with your own health issues. I write this as a Christian now, but there was a time in my life that I did not believe in God and journeyed through life feeling alone and empty. I came to know God through the trying of my Faith, and while I am not attempting to write a sermon I am going to tell you that Faith placed in anything other than Christ Himself is useless.

We in America are so blessed that even our poor people are wealthy when contrasted with the rest of the world. We as American Christians rarely live truly by Faith, and without Faith it is impossible to please God. This can be dumbed down to mean it is a waste of time. What I am saying is that no matter your circumstances, whether it is a loss of your job, your car broke down and you cannot afford to fix it, your child needs medical care, you just found out that you are being layed off in 3 months, or any other of life’s curve balls, is that the ATTITUDE with which you CONFRONT your HARDSHIPS is YOUR CHOICE.

You can choose to have FAITH or you can choose to FAIL. Whatever the outcome may be it is soleley your choice on how you deal with it.

As for me I choose FAITH in the ONE who created me. I honor God through my success, not my failures and HE gives me power to overcome. Phil 4:13